Yankee fan fights us back

Posted on Jan 12 2016 - 10:28am by Tyler Scionti
Boston Red Sox's Deven Marrero watches his ninth-inning, solo home run off New York Yankees relief pitcher Caleb Cotham in a baseball game at Yankee Stadium in New York, Monday, Sept. 28, 2015.  (AP Photo/Kathy Willens)

Boston Red Sox’s Deven Marrero watches his ninth-inning, solo home run off New York Yankees relief pitcher Caleb Cotham in a baseball game at Yankee Stadium in New York, Monday, Sept. 28, 2015. (AP Photo/Kathy Willens)

It’s official, the Empire strikes back!

I ran a minor post, really just for sh*ts and gigs back in September on Devon Marrero’s first career home run and how the fan who caught it tossed a fake toy baseball back, keeping the real thing for himself. You can read more here, it’s funny so yeah, read it.

Well, four months after the fact the fan in question has responded via a comment on the post:

I have the ball, I gave my name and number to Yankee security so that mr. Marrero could get his first home run ball back. I never heard from anyone. Like many, my life is busy and and so I waited for someone to reach out to me. It has not happened. I was at Yankee stadium celebrating my sons 16th birthday. of course we wanted to keep the ball, until it was explained to us that it was his first home run. I am still willing to give the ball back, just waiting for somebody to tell me they want it. So to the author of the comments above, please keep your venom in your fangs until you know something about what you are talking about. Good advice for an entire society who like to show anger first and then seek understanding later.

WAHHHHHHHHHHHH

You want to know what I hear from that?

I have the ball, I’m not giving it back because [excuse, excuse, excuse, excuse] but I’ll give the ball back only if I can cash in and you’re a big fat meany who makes fun of people on the internet so I’m going on some self-righteous rant at 10pm because I’m going to be vindicated damn it!

Like seriously the guy wrote this at TEN O’CLOCK, don’t you have anything better to do than write a long-winded comment trying to justify your stupidity when half the world is asleep? And seriously, waiting for someone to tell him what to do? Are you kidding me, what are you 10? Ring, ring, hello there is this new invention called “Google” maybe you can look someone up. Or, and more likely, he’s just holding onto the ball to sell it back because who wouldn’t want an extra $20.

Who are you, George Costanza?

And what did he think would happen, that I’d actually apologize for what I wrote?

Because I’m not.

It was funny, and like much of my sarcastic humor there is a kernel of truth in it. Rather than sit on his a$$ and wait for Marrero to knock on his door with hat in hand, he could take some initiative and call the Sox or Yankee press office…. or give the ball back when they asked him instead of throwing a stupid decoy.

So Yankee fan, whoever you are, get a life and grow up.

 
2 comments
Nvyankeefan
Nvyankeefan

Tell you what. You give me your contact number and you can facilitate delivery. By the way...why are so angry? That has got to be so draining on everyone around you.

monstahmash
monstahmash moderator

@Nvyankeefan sure thing, shoot me an email at tyler.scionti@monstah-mash.com and we can talk. And it's mainly satiric, there's literally nothing else to write about given January in Boston is miserable and Spring Training is over a month away lol. 

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