The Red Sox bullpen will be the death of me

Posted on Jun 3 2016 - 9:42am by Tyler Scionti


Our pen was supposed to be one of the greatest strengths. You had Junichi Tazawa, Koji Uehara, Carson Smith, and Craig Kimbrel.

Instead, Smith is getting Tommy J, Koji and Taz suck, and Kimbrel is two blown saves from being labeled as a heart attack closer in my book.

Seriously, what the f*ck?

This most recent series against the Orioles is the PERFECT example, the Sox took the first two games easily, but struggled in the latter two–in both games the Sox were at an early disadvantage thanks to a poor performance from the starter (but that doesn’t even begin to describe the dumpster fire that is Joe Kelly), but in both games the bats brought their A-game and bailed the Sox out.

Until the pen shat the bed.

Thursday night’s disaster nearly put me in the grave as three pitchers for the Sox combined for two runs and seven, count ’em seven, runs.


Words…. words…. I can’t even write. There are no words to describe the catastrophic meltdown that the Sox pen has regularly been turning out. It’s like I’m being forced to watch Dawn of Justice every night but it keeps getting worse and worse. Our good pitchers are regularly sh*tting themselves on the mound, and our crappy pitchers are, well, crappy.

Seriously, who do we throw in a close game? Because last time I checked everyone has been getting lit up. Meanwhile I’m just sitting on my a$$ crushing Diet Coke cans in my fist while trying not to pop a blood vessel.

The Sox showed their best and worst, not with a weekend series against the Jays I hope we can see somewhere in the middle, and I hope that happy medium is good enough to take two of three.