As you all know the Red Sox and Yankees finished their first series of the season and oh my god are we witnessing a WWE style smackdown. But after watching David Ortiz make Dellin Betances pee down his leg with game winning homerun on Friday, and then smack another one off some schmuck named Johnny Barbato on Saturday, it made me realize something: I’m gonna miss that big Dominican mother f*cker.
Seriously, like I’ve known for months he was going to retire at the end of this season, but something about watching him terrorize a cellar dwelling Bronx bummers squad, makes it really sink in. He’s really gonna be gone…
How did this happen? And more importantly, what the f*ck are we gonna do next year?
There’s nothing that can replace the void he’ll leave (emotionally – Pablo Sandoval could fit the physical hole… twice… maybe three times). I don’t know if anybody else in the world could give Lisa Swan over at the Subway Squalor night terrors the way Big Papi has for the past 13 years.
I think what makes it hardest to accept is that he’s not performing like it’s the last year of his career. The man is 40 and he’s playing like he’s 30. He’s first in the American League in doubles and OPS, third in RBIs, ninth in walks and average, and is 3 HRs off the league lead. Those aren’t “last season of your career” numbers, those are “prime of your career ape-sh!t-f*ck-jacked” numbers. That’s not how it’s supposed to go. Right now he looks like he could play another 10 years. This truly is his swan song, because like the swan, he’s a vicious goddamn animal and nobody can mess with him right now.
I mean, when Derek Jeter retired, he looked like an old horse limping to a glue factory. Like a dying star imploding on itself. Like a… like burnt cheese getting scraped off a plate and into a trash can… He looked like sh!t you get the idea. Last years are supposed to be sad because a once great player looks like a AAA dog trying to make it in the majors. But Big Papi looks like he’s in the prime of his career.
It’s just not right. It’s too soon. I need more time dammit.
Unfortunately there’s nothing we can do to stop it. These are the last games we’ll ever get to see David Ortiz play in. And we have to live with the fact that all we can do as fans is sit in the bleachers and watch as he inches ever closer to the end of his career and weep silently into our $8 beers. So enjoy it while it lasts. Because Fenway won’t be the same without David Ortiz in 2017.