Sandoval’s back buckles under crippling weight

Posted on Mar 26 2016 - 7:45am by Tyler Scionti

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“Weight isn’t an issue, blah, blah, blah.” Give me a f*cking break.

For those who felt the need to bend over a table and sing Sweet Caroline while chugging the koolaid–I told you so. Here’s a juicy tidbit we all knew way back when–Pablo Sandoval is too f*cking fat to play baseball. Except now it’s not “He’s too fat to play baseball effectively“, now it’s “He’s too fat to play baseball period“.

At 5’11”, 265 pounds, and three Big Macs away from complete heart failure, Pablo Sandoval once again has outdone himself. Sandoval recently injured his back, likely because his spinal cord is supporting the weight of two people, and as a result has been off the field to recover (but mainly because the fat sh*t dove for a grounder because God forbid he ever have to do that in his career). He has been out of baseball activities, except for a light catch with coaches watching, and he hopes to start taking grounders soon.

Let’s all wait with bated breathe.

Thankfully Pablo was able to walk on the treadmill, likely something he never did in the offseason as the only walking he must have done was from the fridge to the couch. This really would be funnier if it wasn’t real, seriously waking up this week I couldn’t shake the feeling that The Onion leaked into Google News. I can see the headline now: Sandova’s back buckles under crippling weight.

Hey wait a minute….

For those still on the fence about the Sandoval vs Travis Shaw debate, let this settle it.

Sandoval physically cannot play. He is not mobile enough to field his position effectively, and even when he is on the field he suffers from back pain, dehydration, and a terrible case of “I-don’t-care-itis”. Seriously anyone that thought he did a passable job last season either doesn’t watch baseball on a regular basis, or is blind–he didn’t look like an athlete, he looked like a fat man pretending to be one. The man sucked in 2015, was asked to lose weight for this season, showed up fatter than ever and has since been a disaster on the field and now, with just a week to go until the season starts, has backpain because he’s practically with child.

If anyone still supports Sandoval after all this, you either have the patience of a saint or the intelligence of a rock. Either way I’m completely out.  Travis Shaw deserves to be the starting third baseman, and it’s not because he’s more likable or popular right now, it’s because he can effectively prepare himself to do his JOB.

 
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