Sandoval is so fat his belt bursts on swing

Posted on Apr 9 2016 - 12:54pm by Tyler Scionti

GOOD GOD IS THIS THE ONION?

Seriously you can’t make this sh*t up, Pablo Sandoval, bearing the weight of eight men, waddled up to the plate, struck out and on a massive swing and miss broke his belt.

 

Seriously.

 

 

Seriously.

What Sandoval, is the gravity around your massive gut so strong that it’s pulling at your belt and ripping it apart? Or is it that you are so immensely, unfathomably, hysterically, and improbably fat that you, a professional athlete, are hardly fit to play let alone wear your uniform?

For all the people who bent over a chair for the Sox and sang the “Stop being mean to Sandoval” song, well you look pretty damn stupid now.

If you ask me Sandoval needs to be dumped ASAP–heck even if the Sox have to pay a team to take him then they ought to do it because every time he starts at third over Travis Shaw is a day that eight hairs on my head go grey and I can’t afford for this to keep on happening.

It’s not even funny any more, it’s just too damn easy and too damn sad that this is reality for us fans. All I know is that watching Sandoval at bat is about as fun as going to the old Fenway bathrooms where you’d have to pee in a rusty trough.

 
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