Red Sox rotation: Straight dumpster fire

Posted on May 28 2016 - 12:37pm by Nick Piccione


Everyone knew the rotation was going to be the biggest issue this season and so far it has proven to be just that. And while there has been some improvement, overall the rotation is still just as smelly a dumpster fire as ever.

Nothing has really gone according to plan so far, not even David Price. In the first month of the season Price posted a grotesque 5.76 ERA, the worst April of his career by far. And even though his ERA is 0.8 points lower than April, he’s still got an ERA over 5, which doesn’t feel like a 31-million dollar season to me.

Despite Price’s lackluster performance, he still has a solid 7-1 record due to some insane production from the lineup. But unfortunately guys like Steven Wright have had the opposite problem. Wright has been phenomenal this year with a 2.52 ERA and two complete games under his belt. But due to bad luck, he’s only managed a 4-4 record. Just a bad case of having the right stuff at the wrong time (more like Wright stuff #rimshot).

And while those two have been getting decent results, it’s pretty much all downhill from there. Rick Porcello has improved since last season’s monumental implosion, but he’s still not worth the $20-million he gets every year.

Joe Kelly had appeared to turn a corner against the Indians last week after taking a no-hitter into the 7th (a game I got to sit in the bleachers for). But after getting his teeth kicked in again by Toronto, that game looks like more of an apparition. Maybe he’s just bad against the Jays, but considering we play them 19 times a year, probably not a good thing to call 1 out of 5 of those an automatic loss.

As for Clay Buchholz… Oh Clay… You greasy bastard. Watching that lanky goblin give up 3 HRs every 5 days was driving me insane. F*ckholz has been a disaster this season and after season after season of blue balling this club he finally got tossed in the pen. The nightmare is over, the decade long cocktease is done and we can finally move on.

So yeah, this boat is taking on water right now, and we’re dangerously close to going down. But if you thought Eduardo Rodriguez was going to right the ship, you might want to start looking for a life boat. Look we all know E-Rod has filthy stuff, maybe even the best stuff on the staff. But that dude watched his patella slide about 6 inches out of place this spring. And trust me, as a guy who’s dislocated his knee twice, that f*cks with your head man. Phantom pains, unsteadiness, opposite knee weakness, it takes significantly more time to feel confident than it does for the actual injury to heal. And seeing as the Orioles dealt him because they were worried about his head, I think we may be waiting awhile to see the E-Rod we saw last season.

I’m not saying we have to hit the panic button just yet. This team is still hitting the ball harder than an Eskimo hits seals. But that’s not a sustainable model for success. If this team is going to be a contender this fall, they need to add another top of the rotation guy. And unfortunately that’s not an opinion, that is a fact.