Papelbon and Harper deserve each other

Posted on Sep 28 2015 - 7:58pm by Tyler Scionti


You read the title rignt.

Jonathan Papelbon and Bryce Harper deserve each other. Like a mismatched teenage pregnant couple from hell on their wedding day, I am the drunken best man toasting to their misery. I don’t give an at’s rass what happened in the dugout or on the field. I don’t care why Papelbon yelled at Harper, and I certainly don’t care what triggered their lover’s quarrel.

What I do care about is that somehow the biggest douchebags in the MLB ended up on the same team and people are surprised they came to blows.

In the red corner, the guy who thinks he is as good as he was eight years ago, the pitcher who blew not one but two Red Sox seasons in a clnching game (09 and 11), the guy who got booted from team to team for his notoriously bad atttude Jonathan Papelboooooooooon.

In the blue corner, the kid who thinks he sh*ts gold, the kid who thinks that because he has been in the MLB for three seasons everyone should bow down in worship of him, the biggest douche and most self-entitled pansy in baseball since A-Rod, Bryce Harpeeeeeeeeer.

Ding Ding.

Seriosuly you have the two biggest egomaniacs in baseball sitting 10 feet from each other I’m not surprised one of them didn’t go all Son of Sam and kill everyone in the dugout by now.

My distaste for Harper is well known, but my hatred for Papelbon goes back six years. I was just a whee lad in high school watching Game 3 of the 2009 ALDS with my dad during Columbus Day weekend in Philly visiting my sister. The Sox had a lead thanks to yet another clutch post season home run by JD Drew, and Papelbon literally had one job.

Then he blew it.

Lisa Swan of Subway Squawkers gleefully reminded me of this gem from the start of that same season, a warning sign of what was to come.

I never trusted Pap with a lead after that, and when he skipped town claiming Philly fans were smarter than Sox fans anyway I had it with him. It was a fitting end to his career that on the final game of the season in 2011, when the Sox were down to the wire it was him who blew the save (and Crawford who missed the catch).

So fight, kill each other for all I care because I for one am glad that Pap is long gone from Boston tucked away in the NL where I don’t have to worry about him.